Drugs and Love
by Death's Last Wish
Summary: Logan and Kendall hit it off with a kiss, but Carlos makes everything complicated when he can't have the one thing he wants most. Kogan Jalos and very slight one sided Cargan
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first FanFic so don't blame me if it's bad. I tried. The idea popped into my head this morning so I've been trying to write this but am currently having writer's block for the next chapter. I was inspired by ShatteredDiamonds and The Infamous Katie. After reading a couple of their stories, I really wanted to to do one of my own.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this Fan Fiction. I might make a character or two later on but that's only if my story requires it. I do not own the band Big Time Rush or the TV show either.**

**This was originally going to be purely slash and angsty, as I've read from my inspirational publishers, but I felt the need to change things up a bit. So far, it's heading towards Kogan but I might throw in a bit of Kames later. Hell, maybe even some Jamos (James and Carlos. If anyone can think of a better name for them, please let me know) So, enjoy reading my first chapter and let me know what you think!**

**Warning! The story line may be a bit fuzzy now, but I promise it will make sense as I upload more chapters and start to really get the story flowing.**

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I wake up to the sound of the TV blaring the iCarly theme song. I roll over in my bed, so stiff that I swear I could break into a million pieces with the wrong move. I think back to the day before and cringe. Gustavo had made the four of us (James Diamond, Logan Mitchell, Carlos Garcia, and me, Kendall Knight) work nonstop for 10 hours. Not that we needed help on our singing, our voices were getting really good. Gustavo just thought that we all needed better dancing. He sent us to the X, where we had learned a bit of break dancing (Falling on our heads a couple of times too. Lucky for Carlos, he had his helmet on). My muscles throb, bringing me back to the present.

I groan and begrudgingly get out of my bed. It takes me awhile since every part of my body aches, but I finally stand up and walk painfully out of my room. When I arrive at my kitchen I see my mom frying eggs while Carlos waits hungrily behind her.

"Morning," I mumble sleepily. Carlos, already dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a green VANS tee shirt, turns to look at me.

"Wow! You're finally awake!" he exclaims.

"Uh, yeah," I reply giving him a weird look. Carlos has never been a morning person; he should be groggily walking around right now. Brushing it aside, I head toward the living room where Katie is watching an old rerun of iCarly. The volume is deafening so I snatch the remote and turn it down a few notches. Katie turns around giving me an annoyed look, but I just head back into my room.

I reach into my closet and grab a pair of khaki shorts and a plain tee. I change into them and walk back outside. "Mom, I'm going down to the pool for awhile," I call as I head out the door. I just barely hear her say "Be back for breakfast" before the door shuts behind me.

Five seconds after I leave, I hear the door open again. I glance back to see Carlos sprinting towards me. I blink as I realize he's going to ram straight into me, but just as I prepare for the moment of impact, he skids to a stop. "I'm coming with!" he yells way too loudly.

"Whatever, and quiet down," I say. We walk in almost silence until we get to the elevator (I say almost because Carlos wouldn't stop humming the Pussy Cat Dolls' Hush Hush). I push the down button and we wait for the elevator to open. As soon as it does, Carlos rushes in and smacks his head on the opposite side. "What is wrong with you today?" I ask, slightly peeved.

Carlos ignores me and rubs his head. For the first time, I notice he isn't wearing his helmet. His head has a purple-ish bump wear he hit it. "Ow!" he cries, small tears forming at the edge of his eyes. "It hurts!" The elevator doors close and Carlos starts crying.

"Are you okay?" I ask, unsure of what to do. He ignores me and continues crying. I'd had it. The elevator doors opened to reveal the Palm Woods apartment complex lobby. I jam my hand into the button that takes us back up to the 5th floor. Carlos isn't crying anymore, he's full blown sobbing. "What is it now?" I snap.

"I thought we were gonna go to the pool!" he chokes out.

Really, I can't believe he's even crying right now. "We _were_ but now we're not." I state. Carlos is really annoying me today.

"B-b-but I wanna go to the pool!" He whines and starts sobbing even harder (was that even possible!?). The elevator doors open yet again and I drag Carlos into our apartment, slamming the door behind me.

When I get inside, James and Logan are eating breakfast. "Where's my mom?" I ask tiredly.

"She went somewhere with Katie," Logan says, "something about a conference at the Palm Woods School."

I groan loudly until James speaks up. "What's with Carlos?" He asks in confusion.

I glance at the Mexican boy who looks like he could be depressed enough to commit suicide. "I don't even know." I groan again. "He won't stop crying for God knows what reason! I'm just going to take him to his room."

"Wait!" Logan says. "He's hurt."

I look at the purple bump on Carlos' head. It was oozing and, just ew. Without giving it a second thought, I hand him over to Logan as if he were my iPod. I follow them to the bathroom and watch in awe as Logan treats his wound.

I notice for the first time how muscular Logan really is; and it's a lot more than he lets on. (Standing next to me and James, he actually looks very feminine) I admire his body, (I can see the outline of abs and muscles from his tight tank) it's slim for a guy but slightly toned. I move my eyes over to his face and look at his eyes; a warm chocolate brown. A few strand of his semi spiked hair slips over his eyes from his work. His nose, just a tiny crooked from a bike accident, is, well, perfect. And his lips, oh his lips! I watch them move as he speaks softly to Carlos and feel my heart start to race.

I didn't even notice I was staring until Logan says "Now you can take him back to his room."

"Y-yeah," I stutter, still trying to even out my heart beat. I look at the bump on Carlos' head, it was bandaged with gauze and not quite so purple anymore. I sigh with relief as I realize that I don't have to look at that nasty, oozing thing all day. "So Carlos, are you okay?"

Carlos looks at me with a huge grin on his face. "I wanna have my room!" he exclaims.

"Sure…" I give him another weird look. Five minutes ago, he was bawling his eyes out and now he looks like he just won the jackpot lottery? And he's not even talking properly! Carlos was getting stranger by the minute and I wanted to find out why.

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**Are you confused by Carlos? If you are then, perfect! I'm going to make Carlos a sort of depressed person. There's really no other way to describe it. If you have any suggestions for how I should continue the story, feel free to tell me. And please, review!**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I finally decided that this FanFic is going to be Kogan with a one sided Cargan and some Jalos. I'm probably going to make a Kames fic after I complete this one. I actually like how this chapter turned out.**

**I couldn't post this until almost a week after the first chapter what with all my school work and hey, I have a life. I can just tell that this'll be a really cute fic in the long run, so hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I had writing it.**

**Still don't own any Big Time Rush cast members, still wishing I did.**

**PLEASE review if your reading this :)**

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Something's wrong with Carlos. I know there is. It's just the fact that I don't know what exactly that's bugging me. I ignore my gut feelings and help Carlos walk to his room. He somehow can't stand straight. This is getting to be a pain.

I swing open Carlos' door and step inside his room. The smell of Cheetos flies at me with incredible speed, knocking the breath out of me. When was the last time he cleaned his room? There are shirts and pants scattered all over the floor, at least five half-eaten bags of Cheetos lying on his bed, and his desk lamp is about to die. I move cautiously toward his bed and brush aside the bags of snacks. While I'm helping him get under his covers (which is a bit awkward, even if we do occasionally share a bed), he looks straight into my eyes.

"Lookit the pwetty unicorns" he slurs right before passing out. Right when he does, his arms hook my neck (because I'd put them there in order to help him stand). The force pulls me down to his face and I stare wide-eyed as my lips were flung towards his.

"Is Carlos okay?" asked James as he walked into the room. I could hear another pair of footsteps besides his, and I knew it was Logan. "Oh my god…" James sputtered out in what seemed to be shock and disgust. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

My lips had landed on Carlos'. I mean, it's not like I WANTED to kiss him, but it was surprisingly nice. His lips were soft and because he was unconscious, the kiss was gentle. But, something was off… his lips tasted faintly of something like sweet beer. "Mmmph!" I muffled trying to break free from Carlos' grip. Once I had lifted his arms off of me and was standing up straight I started to register the other guy's expressions.

James looked like a mixture of shocked, speechless, and disgust while Logan just looked shocked, and was that a hint of hurt? "I-i-it's not what it looked like!" I stammer in reason.

"You… Carlos… KISS!!!!" James yells wide eyed.

"Logan look," I start, not sure why I was feeling the need to explain this mostly to him. "It was… I just" I couldn't get the words out. I knew this would end badly.

"There's nothing to explain." Logan chokes out fast, probably hoping to seem calm. But, I heard the faint crack in his voice towards the end, though I doubt James could. This devastated me.

James walks out of the room still in shock and I hear him shut the front door behind him as he leaves our apartment. He probably went down to the music studio; it was always empty on weekends and was his 'thinking place'. I turn back to Logan and study his face. I can see confusion from before, but the hurt was all over his face now; he wasn't trying to hide it now that James was gone.

"Kendall…" He says, his voice quavering. I can see the tears form on his face. Did my heart just skip a beat? I didn't think it was possible to think of Logan this way, but now, looking at his pale flawless face and the small tears that trickle down his cheeks, I can't stop. _I love him_.

He runs out of the room and I can hear his desperate footsteps in the room next to Carlos'. I get up and frantically walk into his room. "Logan-" I plead before I stop in my tracks. Logan has wrapped himself in his baby blue comforter. I can see his outline shaking. He's crying, and now I feel like crying too. I walk slowly to the blue bulge and hold it against my chest, hearing the sobs and sniffles of my newly realized love.

"Logan, please. I need to talk to you." I say softly. I hear him whine but he eventually pokes his head out of the covers. He looks at me with sad puppy dog eyes and I reach out for him. I hook my arms around the small of his back and pull him to my chest.

"Kendall…" He says, then loosens up. He hugs me back, squeezing me tighter to him. I rest my chin on the top of his head and bury my face in his hair. It smells good, like clovers, shampoo, and love. I place a soft kiss on his head and feel him stiffen in my arms.

"What's wrong?" I ask in pure concern.

"You don't get it do you?" Logan says disappointed.

"I think I do." I say and pull away from our hug. I place my hand on his chin and tip his head upwards. I look into his melting chocolate eyes and see what he wants so badly. Me. He wants me; maybe even as much as I want him. _Me_. It sounds so right.

I crush my lips against his and trace the outline of his lips with my tongue. I memorize every crevice, line, and inch and was amazed when I felt his tongue collide with mine. His tongue pushes against my mouth, pleading for a way in. I answer it by opening. Our tongues dance together, moving with one another. We are one. Me and Logan, Logan and I.

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**So there you have it, my first actual attempt at slash. I hope it makes everyone want more~**

**xoxo**


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